chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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