Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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