The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
If I die, sorry about rent.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
