you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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