Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
