that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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