Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
