kristin has been a bad kristin
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Randomize
