I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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