look no pants
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
