Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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