im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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