i was born a porn star she said
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
