I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
did you just send me my own nude
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
