Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
