My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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