apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Randomize
