just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
