it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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