Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
