super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
