Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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