dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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