Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
