Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
