Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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