Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
