i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
