Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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