sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
