i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
