there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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