it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't deserve a penis
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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