yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
