You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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