I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
