yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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