after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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