3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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