I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
