now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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