So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
