you guys were way drunker than both of me
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
