no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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