Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
