You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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