You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
