It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
