She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
