The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
