so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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